“And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:4-6 NKJV
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 NKJV
The Lord Jesus Christ Himself affirmed the timeless definition of marriage as a covenant relationship between one man and one woman for a lifetime (Mat 19:4-5 cf. Mal 2:14-15). Although technically already a family prior to procreation, this union is meant to be fruitful and multiply the home into a beautiful reflection of God’s glory and grace (Gen 1:26-28) (Wolgemuth, 2016, p. xxiii). Despite the incessant barrage of sexually perverse LGBTQ activism to redefine marriage, God’s biblical design stands firm on the absolute authority of His Holy Word (Eph 5:15-17, 31; Col 2:8 cf. 2 Cor 10:3-5). The traditional nuclear family is indeed what Dr. Michael Anthony of Biola University describes as the gold standard of the American dream (Anthony, 2011, p. 3). This nuclear paradigm of a married dad-and-mom-and-kids is unfortunately becoming uncommon for many due to the brokenness of life in a fallen and sin-cursed world, but the “traditional” family is what Wolgemuth (2016) describes as the bull’s-eye of the target (p. xxiii). Even with the proliferation of blended families, cohabitating couples, and the morphing definitions of same-sex relationships, Anthony (2011) observes that modern research continues to show that the nuclear family remains the most popular foundation of American society (p. 4). Wisconsin Family Council’s dynamic president, Julaine Appling, points out that social science research continues to show that children who grow up in the nuclear family structure statistically on average excel better academically, avoid trouble with law enforcement, are less likely to indulge in substance abuse, are less susceptible to any kind of abuse, enjoy superior health, are less prone to endure poverty, more likely to delay sexual activity, and have increased probability of having a strong marriage and family themselves in comparison to children raised in any other paradigm of the family (Sikma, 2019, p. 1).
It must be affirmed though that the thriving nature of the nuclear family is not merely some type of social construct of Western civilization but is the biblical paradigm that is relevant to every culture among all nations worldwide throughout history (Eph 5:21-33; Col 3:18-21). Regardless of the time and place, the three biblical purposes of family are to 1. Magnify God’s Glory (Rom 11:36; Col 1:16; Rev 4:11), 2. Mirror God’s Image (Gen 1:26-27; 2:24; Mat 19:4-5), and 3. Multiply a Godly Legacy (Gen 1:29; 2:24; Ps 78:1-8; Mal 2:15). The irreplaceable nature of the marriage covenant to the family is undeniable and does indeed reap manifold attendant blessings because God intended mankind to flourish under His design for our homes (Gal 6:7-8 cf. Ps 1:1-6; Rom 1:26-27).
The Lord God Almighty created mankind in His image as male and female each with equal dignity, value, and worth but with distinct roles and responsibilities that are complimentary to one another for the proper ordering and structure of family and church life (Gen 1:26-27; 2:18; Eph 5:23-24; 1 Tim 2:12-15). God’s wisdom in this perfect design is a reflection of orthodox Trinitarian theology which assists in our comprehensive understanding of the divine order and structure of the institution of marriage (Mat 26:42; Jn 16:13-15; 1 Cor 11:3) (Anthony, 2011, p. 112). Curt Hamner of Between Two Trees Ministries is a marriage and family expert who notes that each member of the triune Godhead operates as distinct and equal Persons in relationship to each other with a clear sense of priority (Anthony, 2011 p. 112). Further, he explains that distinct sense of leadership priority between God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit is in complete harmony without any sense of superiority (Anthony, 2011, p. 114). Just as the divine members of the Trinity are distinct and equal Persons who enjoy perfect unity, the husband and wife are to reflect this beautiful design through the fulfillment of their designated roles and responsibilities in the context of the marriage relationship (Anthony, 2011, p. 112). Understanding biblical manhood and womanhood matters because Stinson (2011) poignantly affirms that the order and structure of the home and church matters (p. 75). Any edifice that is poorly structured is weak, unstable, and will become dilapidated being unable to withstand the test of time (Stinson, 2011, p. 75). A sound structure based on God’s timeless wisdom is designed to endure for the long haul for the glory of His name (Ps 127:1; Pr 24:3-4).
Gender roles and relationship in biblical perspective matter because theological crisis will otherwise ensue. Former megachurch pastor and vice-president of the Acts 29 Church Planting Network, Darren Patrick, is a controversial man who recounts one such crisis in his journey from egalitarianism to complementarianism (Patrick, 2010, p. 13). The former was deemed more culturally relevant to starting new churches in the 21st century but his research eventually convinced him that the latter was what Patrick (2010) describes as the stunningly clear biblical position (p. 14). Complementarianism in contrast to egalitarianism holds that both men and women are equal in worth but are called by God to complimentary roles in certain church offices and in the home (Patrick, 2010, p.14). On the other hand, egalitarianism holds that men and women can and should serve equal roles in the church and home (Patrick, 2010, p. 14). Male leadership as “first among equals” in the church and home is biblically connected to the created order and not to a cultural context as asserted by egalitarianism (Patrick, 2010, p. 15). However, in the comprehensive treatise, Biblical Eldership: An Urgent Call to Restore Biblical Church Leadership, Alexander Strauch affirms that male headship does not minimize the significant need for active involvement of women in the home and church (Strauch as cited in Patrick, 2010, p. 16). God’s biblical design not only averts theological crisis but also provides ample opportunity for both men and women to flourish in ministry at home and church as such proper order and structure is an accurate reflection of who He is (1 Cor 14:33, 40; 1 Tim 3:15; Titus 1:5-9).
Leadership is the husband’s stewardship responsibility before God and the wife is also accountable for her submission to this headship as together their relationship is a beautiful reflection of the order, structure, and harmony of the triune Godhead (Anthony, 2011, p. 114). Hamner affirms that this complementarian design is clear in the biblical order of creation and is also evidenced from other Ancient Near East literature (Anthony, 2011, p.114). Incidentally, Patrick (2010) also points out that complementarianism has been the dominant position for some two thousand years of church history with challenges arising in only the last hundred years or so (p. 18). Further, Hamner explains that the godly husband is to provide visionary leadership with the attitude of a sacrificial servant that nourishes and cherishes the wife which sets the stage for her to gladly submit in response with the same attitude of subjection as the Church toward the headship of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself (Eph 5:15-33; Phil 2:3-8) (Anthony, 2011, p. 114). The irreplaceable nature of gender roles in marriage is indeed central to the health, vitality, and flourishing of the nuclear family.
References
Anthony, M. & Anthony, M., eds. (2011) A theology for family ministries. Nashville, TN: B&H
Academic.
Patrick, D. (2010) Church planter: the man, the message, the mission. Wheaton, IL: Crossway
Books.
Sikma, A. (2019) Wisconsin’s cultural indicators. Madison, WI: Wisconsin Family Council.
Stinson, R. & Jones, T. P., eds. (2016) Trained in the fear of God: family ministry in theological,
historical, and practical perspective. Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel Publications.
Wolgemuth, R. (2016) The most important place on earth: what a Christian home looks like and
how to build one. Nashville, TN: Word Publishing Group.
