“Help, LORD, for the godly man ceases! For the faithful disappear from among the sons of men.”
Psalm 12:1 NKJV
“Houston, we have a problem!” The legendary words from the near-tragic Apollo 13 lunar mission back in 1970 are an apt description of the modern crisis of manhood in western civilization, the U.S.A., and especially the American church and family. Throughout much of the west, masculine virtues have been abdicated and the collateral damage has wreaked havoc upon our country, churches, and homes. The state of our nation reflects the state of our churches, which in turn reflects the state of our families, marriages, and manhood. Far from being a hopeless situation, the modern crisis of manhood is a tremendous opportunity for God-fearing men whose hearts have been ignited with a passion for His glory and grace rooted in resolute Biblical conviction to man up for such a time as this (1 Cor.16:13-14).
The evidence that the family needs reformation and revival is everywhere. Multitudes of Christians have lifestyles, priorities, and value systems that are very little if at all different from the unregenerate heathen of the world. Prolonged adolescence, delayed marriage, and plummeting fertility threatens the stability of a civilization and the generational transmission of the Christian faith. Cohabitation is pervasive, pornography is preeminent, and divorce is commonplace for those who even do get married. Radical feminism detests biblical headship and submission as repulsive and fuels disrespect among wives in the name of liberation and egalitarianism. Whereas their knight in shining armor formerly fought for the purity of their love and the pursuit of their dreams shared together, many women have resigned themselves to merely exist under the same roof. Weak, passive, and even abusive adult males selfishly gloat over their juvenile hobbies and newest accessories for their so-called man cave while their wives languish in hopelessness longing for a hero to rescue the damsel in distress. On the flip side, many Christian men are nice guys but disconnected from any semblance of what could be described as the intentional transmission of truth to the next generation through family discipleship (Deut.6:4-9; Eph.6:4; 1 Thes.2:11-12).
It is high time that the church calls out and calls up every Christian man to convictional leadership at home and deliberately equips them with the tools they need to do so while also challenging them to restructure the scheduled priorities of their lifestyles. This is an absolute necessity because many men do not know how to spiritually lead their families day by day, and even if they did, they do not know when they would have time to do so. Crazy busy schedules render these guys incapable of stepping up at home, even if they wanted to, because they are rarely together at home with their families around the table for an old-fashioned home-cooked meal looking at each other eyeball-to-eyeball.
Parents reap in the teen years what they have sown in the formative years of life when their children are young. Disobedient and unruly children unfortunately become defiant teens whose apathetic hearts have been hardened over the years to the things of the Lord are leaving the church in droves and oftentimes the Christian faith altogether (this trend is happening even in conservative evangelical churches). Some of these young people may have never been genuinely saved by God’s grace through faith in Christ. Regardless, their worldviews are conformed to the passions, pursuits, and priorities of the secular world rather than being transformed according to the Word of God (Rom.12:1-2). Whereas some dads are overbearing especially when it comes to things like their kids’ athletic performance, there is an epidemic of dads who are disengaged and allow, oftentimes unwittingly, the hearts of their children to be captivated by the spirit of the age. Those under their charge are enraptured by the glamour of pop-culture, social media, woke paganism, and the trendiest series to binge watch on debauched streaming services that they pay for themselves. Unfortunately, far too many Christian men are just not aware that the demonic forces of evil are vying for the souls of their children (Neh.4:14; Eph.6:12; Col.2:8).
Our country needs an old-fashioned spiritual awakening but this will not happen apart from a new reformation in the Church-a call back to the absolute authority and sufficiency of the Word of God. The catalyst behind this revival will be a family reformation courageously led by men at the helms of their homes whose hearts have been ignited by God’s Spirit with resolute biblical conviction and a passion for advancing God’s glory and grace to the ends of the earth through revitalized church and family life. At the forefront of their hearts and minds will be wisdom to understand the times in which we live through the lens of a comprehensive Christian worldview rooted in Holy Scripture. Coupled with wisdom from on high will be vision to see beyond the crisis of the current state of affairs to what ought to be and could be, by the grace of God, in every home and family across the lands. These men will have caught a glimpse of God’s design for the family and possess a passion for how He desires to use every household as a ministry training center that is central to advancing the cause of Christ to the ends of the earth beginning right at home. These men will sacrificially and unconditionally love their wives and intentionally transmit the truth of God unto their children and grandchildren for generations.
The big-picture impact of this movement of God’s Spirit, this family reformation, will be a ripple effect experienced throughout the culture. Because families are fortified, churches will be strengthened, and communities stabilized. The vitality of the Church, which is contingent upon its households, will be used of the Lord to unleash generations of uncontaminated salt and light into the culture as a catalyst toward a spiritual revival. Multitudes of depraved sinners will be broken in awestruck humility before the greatness of our God and Savior. God’s glory will be magnified through the salvation of rebel sinners to the praise of His glory in Christ Jesus throughout eternity.
Here are some very practical equipping tools to help you begin leading well at home. First of all, humility before God and your family is needed even as you confess your failure to lead well, apologize to them for not stepping up, and ask your family to forgive you by the grace of God in Christ Jesus (Pr.3:34; Eph.4:32). As you do so, let them know you and your wife will be making some prayerfully considered changes at home within the context of your schedule. Being God’s man at the helm of your home, courageously initiate decisive action and lead onward.
Suggested Practical Equipping Tools for Family Discipleship to Help You Magnify God’s Glory Right at Home
- AM & PM Rhythms: Spiritual Disciplines for the Morning & Evening
Spiritual Disciplines for the Morning
- One Year Bible – Equip every reader in your family. Intentionally cultivate a biblical worldview. Lead the way yourself. Make time for God’s Word.
- Prayer Journal – Write down your prayers and praises to God. Consider this as a way to knock out the spiritual cobwebs in your heart and mind. Use a notebook/3-ring binder or even an heirloom quality journal from Hobby Lobby.
- Robust Devotional – Utilize doctrinally sound resources that usher your heart into God’s presence. Start with “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers or “New Morning Mercies” by Paul David Tripp.
Spiritual Disciplines for the Evening
- Family Supper – Gather around your family table for a home cooked meal as often as possible. Minimize digital distractions and talk with each other…after Dad leads in prayer. Nobody is dismissed without permission following Family Worship.
- Family Worship – Read the Bible, sing God’s praises, & pray together. Gear the content to the ages/maturity levels of your kids and be Dad the Family Shepherd. Just be forewarned that you will feel like all the demonic forces of evil will be coming after your family because the regime of the flesh, the world, and the devil has an agenda for the souls of your children. Check out Nehemiah 4:14!
- Family Read Aloud – Begin with “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis or “The Little House in the Big Woods” by Laura Ingalls Wilder and read some great books with redemptive themes aloud to your kids. Some of them may even sit on your lap.
*Family Movie Nights can also be a periodic event to enjoy as a carefully discerned film with redemptive themes is chosen to punctuate an evening.
2. Weekly Rhythms: Spiritual Disciplines for Any Given Sunday
Spiritual Discipline of Church Attendance
- Worship God Together as a Family at Church – Corporate worship is meant to be an intergenerational experience. AM & PM rhythms prepare your kids to sit in church even when they are young.
- Sing God’s Praises Together at Church – Worship is not about us but rather the blazing center of the glory of God. He is worthy of all praise because of who He is and what He has done. Don’t forget it!
- Bring Your Bibles to Church – Let’s just say that William Tyndale was burned at the stake for translating the Word of God into the English language. Enough said.
3. Lifestyle Rhythms: Spiritual Disciplines for Annual Change
The Difference in Your Life a Year from Now
- Places You Go – Be adventurous & intentionally go places that make a redemptive difference in the life of your family. Take your wife out for dates, take your family to a Grace Family Conference in your area, and go on a family adventure to a historical site or state park in your neck of the woods.
- People You Meet – Be sociable & know people by name by intentionally blessing and encouraging them in the Lord Jesus Christ and the Word of God.
- Books You Read – Readers are leaders & leaders are readers. If you stop reading, then you’ll stop leading. Cultivate a forward-leaning mind & read good stuff. Make it a priority to read books on 1. Theology & Worldview, 2. History, & 3. Biographies.
- Challenges You Face – Be a catalyst toward positive change beginning on the grass roots level right at home, in your church, community, & workplace.
“Houston, we have a problem!” The iconic words of Apollo 13 are indeed an accurate description of the modern manhood crisis. What could have been a colossal failure turned out to be an incredible triumph for the crew of that would-be lunar mission. Regardless of our circumstances, the mighty hand and outstretched arm of our Sovereign King leads the way even as men branded in His image, redeemed by His blood, and commissioned by His Spirit trust Him for the wisdom, vision, and courage that we need for such a time as this. By the grace of God, prayerfully implement and customize the practical equipping tools highlighted here into your family life. What say you on this day? For this man, I know not what course others may take but as for me and my household we will serve the Lord. Soli Deo Gloria!
“Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…
But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
Joshua 24:15 NKJV
Recommended Resources:
Fatherhood
- “The Resolution for Men” (see Appendix 2, “Six Powerful Influences You Must Guard in Your Children’s Lives”) by Stephen & Alex Kendrick
- “Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood” by Robert Lewis
- “Dad the Family Shepherd” & “The Fourth Generation Rule” by Dave Simmons
Family Life
- “Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters to Walk With God” by Voddie Baucham
- “Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family” by Steve Farrar
- “The Most Important Place on Earth: What a Christian Home Looks Like and How to Build One” by Robert Wolgemuth
Manhood
- “Missing From Action: Vanishing Manhood in America” by Weldon Hardenbrook
- “Manhood: The Masculine Virtues America Needs” by Josh Hawley
- “Thinking in Public” interview (06/21/2023), “The War Against Manhood and the American Cultural Crisis”, at www.AlbertMohler.com.
- “Disciplines of a Godly Man” by R. Kent Hughes
- “God’s Gift to Women: Discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity” by Eric Ludy
- “Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men: An Utterly Invigorating Guide to Being Your Most Masculine Self” by Stephen Mansfield
- “The Dude’s Guide to Manhood: Finding True Manliness in a World of Counterfeits” by Darren Patrick
- “Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood” book & video series by Dennis Rainey
- “Tender Warrior: Every Man’s Purpose, Every Woman’s Dream, Every Child’s Hope” by Stu Weber
Marriage
- “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman
- “Love for a Lifetime: Building a Marriage That Will Go the Distance” by James Dobson
- “Love & Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs
- Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences – Save 50% off registration with Coupon Code: TimLoriBoard. Check out FamilyLife.com for more information.
- “Rekindling the Romance: Loving the Love of Your Life” by Dennis & Barbara Rainey
- “Like the Shepherd: Leading Your Marriage with Love and Grace (A Husband’s Guide)” by Robert Wolgemuth
Parenting
- “Growing Kids God’s Way” by Gary & Anne Marie Ezzo
- “Will They Stand: Parenting Kids to Face the Giants” by Ken Ham
- “Heaven Help the Home Today: Successful Parenting in Challenging Times” by Howard & Jeanne Hendricks
- “So You’re About to Be a Teenager: Godly Advice for Teens on Friends, Love, Sex, Faith, & Other Life Issues” by Dennis & Barbara Rainey
- “The Vanishing American Adult: Our Coming-of-Age Crisis and How to Rebuild a Culture of Self Reliance” by Ben Sasse
- “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” by Tedd Tripp
Worldview & Culture
- “What Does It Mean to Be a Man?” w/Voddie Baucham & Ben Shapiro (6/2023) at www.youtube.com.
- “Live Not by Lies: A Manual for Christian Dissidents” by Rod Drehr
- “We Will Not Be Silenced: Responding Courageously to Our Culture’s Assault on Christianity” by Erwin Lutzer
- “The Gathering Storm: Secularism, Culture, and the Church” by Albert Mohler
- “The Briefing: Daily News & Analysis of Events Through a Christian Worldview” at AlbertMohler.com
- “The Truth Project” video series with Del Tackett
Theology
- “A Biblical Life: Following Paul As He Followed Christ” byW. Edward Bedore
- “Practical Dispensational Theology” at www.BereanBibleInstitute.org
- “AWE: Why It Matters for Everything We Think, Say, & Do” by Paul David Tripp
